maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
