I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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