WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize