He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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