I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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