There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
