does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
