its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize