dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
