so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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