i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
