Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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