laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Vodka?
Forever.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
