so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
