Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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