No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
