Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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