He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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