i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
