the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
