the day after is always just damage control
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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