Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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