put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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