if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
