I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
