he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
