So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
