Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
This house was built for laser tag.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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