I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
