I wannas sexs uuuuu
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
