You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
