i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We need to get me chipped asap
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