adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The air was thick with penises
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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