try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
