I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
