uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
