Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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