Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
