and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The feeling are messing with the penis
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
