i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
