So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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