He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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