My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
