everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize