Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
my poor anus
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
