I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
