i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
