That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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