if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
