I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
