apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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