allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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