so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
