no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
