i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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