My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
