So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
